In Part 1 of this series on how to best help people in your circle who are suffering, I explained turning toward the sufferer in as meaningful a way as possible. In this Part 2, I’ll show you how to refocus and reclaim a sufferer’s suffering to obtain as much value as possible from it, as strange as that may seem to you now.
Refocusing and reclaiming suffering enables sufferers to reconnect with what is important, meaningful, and generative in their lives. People who are suffering can always move forward.
Rather than merely coping with the suffering, both the sufferer and the person seeking to help him or her should seek the following things:
- Adaptation
- Confidence
- Clarity concerning their values and aspirations
- Connections with family and friends that are deep and meaningful
- Wholeness
- Gratitude
Refocusing and reclaim is not an easy, quick-fix patch to suffering. It is hard work and requires the following steps:
- Attentive listening
- Recognition of ambiguity, incompleteness, and contradictions
- Gentle challenging of the sufferers self-perceptions
- Encouraging consideration of alternative views
- Providing hope that some of what really matters to the sufferer is achievable, if only to a limited degree
- Developing new productive relationships
- Driving from passive suffering to active engagement in managing the cause of the sufferer’s suffering
- Thriving despite adversity, disease, disability, or impending death
Taking a holistic approach to suffering is a radical departure from how most “helpers” and sufferers try to “make it better” or give up and bear the pain.
It is, however, the essence of Greatness!
[reminder preface=”Tell me your thoughts on this issue.”]When was the last time you engaged someone who was suffering? What happened.[/reminder]
In the meantime, remember, you GOTTABGATT!, so go out there today and be Great! All the time!